People Learn, People Change.

i might be the most childish person that this world has. i often did something without any reason ( the only reason which was slipping trough my brain is : i just want to do it >.< ) blah ! i did regret many things because of this shitty character. All the question which arose just after stupid mistake has proceed is " why the hell i did that ? " And what am going to do after that ? simply forgiving my self, as easy as that ! Gosh, than i would always be 5 years old children who was trapped in 17 years, oh no, 20 years old girl's body like forever.

so this is about a careless story on previous month, i was doing one of the silliest thing that i probably ever made in my own life-guinness-record. It's too much silly to be told btw, so sory for skipping the depiction of the act and jumping to the summary of the act. The big point is just i was endangering my life and someone's. I didn't find any urgency besides i-just-want-to-do-it or i-jut-want-to -make-it-as-a-joke when he asked me why i did it. Bam ! It's like am exploding a bomb in front of my own face, suicidal. I was being mocked by this guy like all night long. I was being lectured like i never go to school before. Really, i was totally afraid at that night, he is just so scary, might be as scary as my father. But ya, i was being taught that a simple reasonless action might ruin all of your day, all of your life. Something i never try to understand before, something that i just put it in my ass before.

" How if something bad happen to you because of the act ? "

" I might be crazy, other one might be sad, do you ever think that ?"

" Think before you act "

all of that words, trust me, is still running back and forth in my head. all that word is a recording that would automatically being played before am going to do something now. Yes, calculating. I learn to calculate the risk, that's exactly my new-ongoing-habit.

Why a simple event could change someone ?

i don't know, i just think that day is one of my worst day, i just don't want it happen again.

so worst day teaches us something, huh ?

Hereby i thank to you, for the lesson. To let me know, that i mean something to others, others mean something to me, so be aware of what you did. Don't let your short-time-minded character harm you or any other people. whatever happens to us right here right now, thanks for schooling me about something important, God bless you ;)

" I know i misbehaved and you made your mistake, and we both still get room to grow. " John Legend - Ordinary People.