god morgen verden

Sesuatu Bernama Rindu

2011-12-06T18:10:00.001-08:00

Hal yang terberat dari rindu adalah ketika rindu itu tidak bisa berkurang.

Waktu kecil, aku sangat membencimu karena aku sangat – sangat mengiginkanmu untuk ada disisku. Mengantarku berangkat sekolah, menjemputku sepulang sekolah, dan menemaniku mengerjakan tugasku. Tapi kau, tidak pernah ada, bahkan untuk mengambil rapotku. Orang lain selalu menggantikannya.

Kau pulang ketika aku terlelap dan aku berangkat ketika kau masih terlelap.

Aku benci kau yang selalu datang terlambat ketika ada acara wisata bersama dan selalu pulang terlebih dahulu sebelum acara usai. Aku benci tidak ada yang membelaku ketika aku dimarahi karena berkelahi di rumah, karena kau selalu sibuk entah dimana kala itu.

“ Andai papa bisa, pasti papa kasih semua yang kamu mau “

Andai kau tau, aku tidak menginginkan segalanya kecuali kehadiranmu. Aku selalu mendoakanmu ketika kau pergi jauh, berharap aku bisa melihatmu terlelap lagi di kasurmu. Aku tidak pernah berhenti memastikan mendengar suara nafasmu sebelum aku terlelap, memastikan esok hari aku masih bisa melihat tidurmu sebelum beranjak sekolah.

Aku tumbuh dengan penuh rasa rindu atas kehadiranmu.

“ Papa kadang nyesel, kenapa gak dari dulu ngurusin kamu sama adek “

Aku mendapati kehadiranmu baru di usia belasan tahun, ketika kau mulai sakit karena terlalu kerasnya dunia yang menjaukanmu dariku. Aku bisa mendapatimu sepulang sekolah, meski bukan di rumah, tapi di rumah sakit. Aku bisa pergi sore hari bersamamu, meski bukan untuk jalan - jalan, tapi intuk control. Setelah hari – hari itu, perlahan kau mulai sehat. Aku mendapatkan apa yang aku inginkan, kau sering mengantarkanku sekolah, menjemputku dan menemaniku belajar di ruang televisi, walau dengan volume televisi yang kerasnya bukan main. Kau bisa datang melihat pentas teater perdanaku dan mengambil hasil ujian akhirku. Bahkan kau menjadi orang yang mendengarkan dengan seksama urusan cinta monyetku.

“ Kamu, anak kesayangan Papa. “

Belum lebih dari 4 tahun aku merasakan betapa hebatnya mempunyai seorang ayah di sampingku. Belum banyak makan siang yang kita habiskan bersama. Belum banyak bola – bola kecil yang kita pukul bersama di lapangan. Belum banyak mimpi – mimpi yang kuwujudkan untukmu. Belum banyak yang bisa kau ceritakan tentang aku dengan bangganya kepada teman – temanmu. Belum banyak, waktu tidak memberikan banyak.

Terlepas dari semuanya, inilah hal yang paling kusyukuri dalam hidupku, aku bisa memanggilmu dengan sebutan “ Papa “. Maafkan aku, untuk aku yang lari dari semua kewajibanku setelah kau pergi. Maafkan aku untuk aku yang lebih banyak menangis di kamar daripada mengisi presensi di kelas. Maafkan aku, untuk aku yang berhenti melakukan segala yang aku janjikan padamu karena merasa Tuhan tidak berpihak kepadaku. Maafkan aku untuk aku yang berhenti tumbuh dan menjadi bodoh tanpamu. Aku, akan berhenti mengecewakanmu.

Aku akan beranjak dewasa dengan rasa rindu atas kehadiranmu.

Aku merindukanmu.

Tidak pernah berkurang, sedikitpun.

" Tidak "

2011-12-02T21:14:00.000-08:00

Aku benci untuk memulai sesuatu, karena sesuatu yang dimulai, akan selalu ada akhirnya. Seperti apa yang mungkin terjadi pada kita sekarang.

Kau bersikukuh mengatakan bahwa akhir dari semua ini adalah kebetulan, kebetulan saja kau hilang. Mengapa disebut kebetulan, karena menurutmu kata itulah yang melukiskan tidak adanya intervensi manusia atas sebuah perkara.

Tapi menurutku tidak.

Tidak ada yang namanya kebetulan, manusia yang mebuat menbuat kesempatan dari sebuah perkara.

It needs two to tango.

“ Jadi kita mau udahan ? “ tanyaku.

“ Hmm, sebaiknya begitu. “

Pertanyaannya adalah, sebaiknya untuk siapa ? Untukmu ?

“ Well then, we broke up “

Akhirnya kau mendapatkan persetujuan, untuk kebaikanmu sendiri. Kenapa ? karena aku memikirkanmu. Bagaimana jika keadaannya dibalik ? aku mengatakan “ tidak “, apakah kau akan menyetujui untuk kebaikanku ? Tidak akan.

Pernyataan menggambarkan kenyataan. “ Sebaiknya kita udahan “ adalah pernyatan yang kau pilih dari “ Apa yang salah dari hubungan kita ? “ , “ Banyak hal yang harus diperbaiki “, “ Kita butuh waktu lebih untuk mengerti “, “ Kita harus mulai saling introspeksi “ dan berbagai pernyataan lain yang mungkin kau pilih. Menggambarkan keinginan pergi jauh yang sangat besar, hingga menepis fakta bahwa faktor – faktor yang mendorongmu pergi, mugkin saja masih bisa diperbaiki. Bila opsi rasional ini saja tidak terlintas di pikiramu, maka pertimbangan irrasional yang condong untuk kebaikanku adalah sesuatu yang tidak mungkin ada.

One moment of weakness, doesn’t define a character.

Inilah yang kan terjadi ketika kamu memutuskan untuk memulai sesuatu, kamu akan menemukan banyak alasan untuk mengakhirinya. Karena manusia dan dunia berubah setiap harinya, alasan – alasan itu mudah terkikis oleh waktu. Karena kamu juga akan banyak menemukan perbandingan yang lebih di diri orang lain dalam pemenuhan alasan tersebut.

Inilah sebabnya, ketika kau selalu bertanya,

“ Kenapa memilih aku ? “

Aku tidak menemukan jawaban lain selain “ Tidak tau “

Aku tidak pernah tahu kapan dan kenapa perasaan ini bermulai, maka akulah yang tetap ada meski segalanya berubah. Karena aku tidak tau, situasi macam apa yang mebuatku bersamamu, maka aku tidak mengenal situasai apa yang mungkin akan membuatku meninggalkanmu. Yang aku tau, aku hanya ingin bersamamu, tanpa jika, tanpa karena, tanpa tapi, tanpa sejak, dengan selamanya.

Sekarang aku berubah pikiran, aku hanya ingin bersamamu,

Jika,

Karena,

Sejak,

Tapi,

Kau menginginkanku, dengan selamaya.

Kenyataannya ? Tidak.

Anggur

2011-11-11T08:58:00.000-08:00

anggur.
semakin lama anggur itu disimpan, semakin enak rasanya.

People Learn, People Change.

2011-11-10T17:15:00.000-08:00

i might be the most childish person that this world has. i often did something without any reason ( the only reason which was slipping trough my brain is : i just want to do it >.< ) blah ! i did regret many things because of this shitty character. All the question which arose just after stupid mistake has proceed is " why the hell i did that ? " And what am going to do after that ? simply forgiving my self, as easy as that ! Gosh, than i would always be 5 years old children who was trapped in 17 years, oh no, 20 years old girl's body like forever.

so this is about a careless story on previous month, i was doing one of the silliest thing that i probably ever made in my own life-guinness-record. It's too much silly to be told btw, so sory for skipping the depiction of the act and jumping to the summary of the act. The big point is just i was endangering my life and someone's. I didn't find any urgency besides i-just-want-to-do-it or i-jut-want-to -make-it-as-a-joke when he asked me why i did it. Bam ! It's like am exploding a bomb in front of my own face, suicidal. I was being mocked by this guy like all night long. I was being lectured like i never go to school before. Really, i was totally afraid at that night, he is just so scary, might be as scary as my father. But ya, i was being taught that a simple reasonless action might ruin all of your day, all of your life. Something i never try to understand before, something that i just put it in my ass before.

" How if something bad happen to you because of the act ? "

" I might be crazy, other one might be sad, do you ever think that ?"

" Think before you act "

all of that words, trust me, is still running back and forth in my head. all that word is a recording that would automatically being played before am going to do something now. Yes, calculating. I learn to calculate the risk, that's exactly my new-ongoing-habit.

Why a simple event could change someone ?

i don't know, i just think that day is one of my worst day, i just don't want it happen again.

so worst day teaches us something, huh ?

Hereby i thank to you, for the lesson. To let me know, that i mean something to others, others mean something to me, so be aware of what you did. Don't let your short-time-minded character harm you or any other people. whatever happens to us right here right now, thanks for schooling me about something important, God bless you ;)

" I know i misbehaved and you made your mistake, and we both still get room to grow. " John Legend - Ordinary People.

So Would You Let Me Be ( Away )

2011-11-09T20:33:00.000-08:00

" we’ve get along together
i should have known
you’re the best that i can love
till now it’s hard for me to face it
why didn’t we meet each other soon
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/dcinnamons/so_would_you_let_me_be.html ]
i left them all behind you, only for you
would you believe me
i put my trust on you
but deep inside i realize
that i can’t, no i can’t "

Ne-am mutat cea mai apropiată persoană care urmează să fie cel mai departe unul de altul, ceea ce se întâmplă în spatele Bo, Te respect ca o persoană care îmi dă de memorie, Mi-e dor ca o persoana care mi-o dă de memorie. Întoarce-te repede la rhtym dvs. şi de a fi fericit.

it's not about the song, neither the lyric. it's about you, the memory of you.

idk

2011-08-30T12:47:00.001-07:00

me : dady, could you hear me ?

me : i am sorry

me : i love you

me : happy eid mubarak

me : dady ?

there is no more " i am sorry too, honey " or " i love you too " or " ya, bella ? "

am the one who asking and answering. what so ever, i would always love you. i miss you dady, really.

2011-08-30T12:47:00.000-07:00

Time, just be nice.

2011-04-05T00:26:00.000-07:00

When we take a peep into those days, so many things remain unsaid

i said that we are going to be okay and time will heal our wound

we know it wont

we preferred to hide something

for that we can’t lie

for that everyone know it’s there indeed

they are keep asking

why don’t we belong to each other?

if only we had much more strength to stand

it would not be so much years with nothing

we wish each other would talk bout many unsaid things

and try to compensate those useless times

but we are just doing nothing

surrendering everything to the time

Well, just let tomorrow think by it self.

( it's actually so yesterday post, it has been in my draft for so long time. all of a sudden i want to share it. )

L * V E MY LIFE

2011-03-22T00:39:00.000-07:00

" Tomorrow, am going to eat crispy crab "
" Next week, i would like to go to Rtr meeting with my besties "
" Next month, i wish i could have another trip "
" Next semester, i wish ..................... "

could u hear it, life ?
am trying harder to live u ( again ) . u want to defeat me ? well, just try a little a bit harder.

when life becomes so damn cruel, u have no option but growing stronger.

the right one

2011-03-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

" choose the newest one and that is the truth "

well, it is here !

2011-03-20T06:05:00.000-07:00

" i hate to feel it again, but indeed i do feel it. "

if now i am afraid to feel so, its all because of you. i ever said that i was graduated, but indeed am not graduated yet. when i saw my happy face in the mirror several days ago, i automatically haunted by you and your promise. would it be as hurt as ours ? or maybe more.

Day with(out) You

2010-07-04T00:14:00.000-07:00

My father is the most i love. If allowed to be exchanged, I want to swap my whole life to make him live again. But my dad would also say the same thing to God. He always sacrificed everything for me, my life.

Back then, I loved him only through this heart, from now on i'll love through all this life. Every breath, every tear, every smile, every praying and dream which will be come true, i dedicate them for him, instead of the day, that may not be real with me since he had passed.

"I want to die "
Sometimes i really want to do that.

But sometimes i also try to understand, that by my death, my father would never return. But when I'm alive, my father will live on, through the blood flowing in my body, through his praying that would make my dreams come true, through the strength that gives laugh and happiness to the whole of my family.

Flying In The Wind

2010-02-18T07:30:00.000-08:00

I were a leaf that is carried by the wind.

I turn around to follow, as if a rope connecting my body with him. Since i followed that "wind" , I was not cautious. Sometimes I fall to the ground bacause of its moving. When i ve been fell, it is moist and difficult to re-fly. Also sometimes I drift into a big tree. Yea, it hurts, like hell. But i ll be fascinated by its beauty and i would still be pleased to fall and get hit. What so ever the risk, the pain, i love to beeing fly in the "wind". I am not blind, I see, I feel how the "wind" gives me that pain and tears. But i just let myself close my eyes, follow the wind.

Is it false ? according to some people, they ll say " No, it is not false. "
Because when the "wind" is coming, it can not be denied. The "wind" would just moving, then we just take off, if we let it, maybe we'll get to a comfortable prairie, feel happy and comfy there. But when the "wind" was barren, this "wind" could also bring us into the desert without water, and difficult to return.
If from a distance you've felt that the "wind" barren or you suddenly see the parched, just leave the "wind", although you have to be waiting for another "wind" to come. Stop at the place where it is comfy enough to beeing a shelter. Better you leave that "wind" before the desert eliminates your chance to return into fresh praire. Believe me, there is so many, many "wind" that you may choose then, that will make you fly with, into a praire.

Dont be afraid, honey :) when you need to take a shelter, use your time wisely to beautify you texture or playing with the other leaves. If you have been flying in the "wind" , you would miss that act.

graduation day

2010-02-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

its a brand new day
without bad dreams
no more daily pain
without fake smiles
no more weekly sadness

day without you in my mind

i have been successful to get you away, i ve pass this exam, even maybe get C for the mark.
the most important, i ve graduated.
this is my graduation day. cheers !

Happy new year :D

2009-12-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys, this is the 1st post in 2010 ( for the one who followed the Babit's Party must know how deep the meaning of this sentence :p )

This night began with a card game which made me and babit should squat for losing games, all lazy to lose, but we all laughed as long as we could.

Tonight is filled with roasted corn, meat, tempe, and tahu. All tired, but all enjoyed, and felt good.

This night ended with fireworks ( not fireflies indeed, i just knew it yesterday. Thanks for bantya because she allowed me to call the firework as a fireflies, because " fireflies" sounds better in my ears ) that look more beautiful than babit's neighbour's, all exposed of smoke, but all fine and happy.

All of the beautiful there always have consequences, all of thing which should be paid is always beautiful, tthose beautiful things can not just acquired, or it would occure an ordinary sense.

Last year was filled with final exam stress, falling down - roll out because of love, shock due to the change of learning, the end of semester's task, but all covered by you all, Guys.It beautifully closed by something that is also beautiful. Thanks.

Just Fine

2009-12-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

sunny day
the sun can not hide
wind dance without thinking long
leaves with a cheerful greeting, and then fell to the ground
loose soil, taking them gently

a day like this
doesnt not deserve to cry about
a bright day like this
doesnt not deserve to be reproached
a peaceful day like this
doesnt deserve to be insulted by continually asking for more without effort

we already have eyes, even could not see the shape of the wind
we still have ears, though unable to hear the sound of leaves falling gently
we still have nose to breathe, though it can not smell the hot sun

everything just, just fine.

Secret Plan

2009-12-21T07:37:00.003-08:00

God always keep everything, including life and death. Happy and sad. Trials and blessings. That's all that we continue to pray, try and grateful.
My aunt died today, the memory of her hospitality is still recorded in my mind. She suffered the same disease with my father, and my uncles who had preceded. Last I saw, she was so healthy with gloves and socks. She talked about the organization she led. Later she was frequently called my father, telling how healthy she is. And how healthy her husband who had just recovered from disability. I were happy because of that. I rarely communicate with her because I stutter in Java language, but I really love her as family. I remember how she tried to speak the Indonesian language which she did not mastered, only to say hello. How grateful I am to have her in my side.
Why did God take her so fast? why God did not tell me that she would gone today ? why did God show us that he was going to live any longer?

Because God wanted us to always be aware of what we have. Be grateful, until one day come - come pick them up. Because God wanted to keep it quiet, so we all can laugh till the bad news arrived. Because God wants us to pray at any time, for the happiness that can be lost at any time. Because God wants us to see our image in the glasssee, that we are only human.

Live and be happy, before one or both taken :) do not make God teach you a happiness through a grief.

Treehouse

2009-11-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

I saw him, standing there so long. I was confused when i saw he's just walking around below the same tree. He never moved from there. I wonder why he didn't try to sit if he waiting for someone. he just paced back and forth, and continued his confusion. And I was as stupid, cant stop worrying abut him.

Then the rain came, I went into my tree house. I peeked out a moment, he was more confused.
I wanted to offer my house, but I'm afraid he refused it, so I said nothing. Suddenly he knocked on my door, I saw he was shivering, cold. I invited him in, gave him a blanket and a cup of hot tea. For the first time, I heard his voice, he said "thank you" :) *yey !

Then, he told me that he was waiting for someone. *huh
I saw him drowning in the wound, and I tried to change the subject. I was looking for stupid jokes, so he can laugh. I did not care whether I look stupid in his eyes. The most important thing was he laughed, I enjoyed watching his laughing. We talked at length, laughed, and he forgot someone who he was he waiting for. I'm glad, glad to see it.

Soon after, the rain stopped.
He looked out, then put the cup. Then he said "Thank you for discussion and a place for shady".
I wanted to say "If u want to wait here is just okay, until your lover come."
But he was already gone, he did not let me issue a word. Besides that, he would be reluctant to wait a long time with me. He returned to waiting under the tree, spinning, cold and felt hot outside.
Increasingly saw the blackened, I became increasingly unwell. I decided to go to him,
then I said, "Put my tree house to wait. I have to move to another place. " I was lying.
Then his face shone brightly, he said " Thanks " for the second time and he got in to my treehouse. Once again, I'm glad. Although it makes me have to hide in another tree, and saw him occasionally, " whether he had met with his lover or not ? Is he ok ? " an another stupid questions.

I feel hot, i'm wet in the rain now. If he see me, would he offer me a place to take shelter ?

Love will make you willing to sacrifice. But you must know, you are also equally valuable. If the person you love can not respect you, you have to respect your self, because you are deserved to be loved. :)

When Coffee Meets The Milk

2009-11-03T03:57:00.000-08:00

Coffee tastes bitter to the tongue
Milk is sweet on the tongue

Coffee's colour is obviously black
Milk's colour is pure white

Different ? yeah.

But why did they not rebel when mixed?
even more provide a more enjoyable taste of coffee with milk

Does coffee have to change the color used to be white only to be mixed with milk?
Whether the milk should be changed once a sweet taste to be mixed with coffee?

Think about it,
This world would be destroyed if forced to be equal

There white is to brighten the dark
Sweet taste is to diminish the bitter
So that the world is not only black and white

*******

Differences are not need to blame, you are who questioned those differences, who need to open your eyes and look,
Does your mother have the same sex with your father ?

Grateful

2009-10-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

" We can only have a motor and a small boarding, no problem. We're happy. "

Afi, 2008.

Afi ( let's just say his name so ), kenalanku yang satu ini sangat menyenangkan buat dilihat. Dalam artian, dia selalu tersenyum lebar, dengan banyak utang di kepalanya. Dia selalu tertawa lebar dengan banyak masalah di kentornya. Dia masih bisa bersenandung gembira dengan cemooh dari keluarganya, karena istrinya yang tidak disenangi oleh keluarganya. Istrinya, Ida, juga begitu, hidupnya kayak gak pernah kurang apapun, selalu pringas pringis, ingah - ingih, dan menertawakan kebodohan - kebodohan yang dilakukan suaminya. Kalau mereka berantem, serunya minta ampun, Smapai - sampai aku pernah liat adegan, si Afi mau dicemplungin ke kolam ikan di pemancingan sama istrinya, di depan BANYAK ORANG. Gimana aku yang waktu itu lagi bareng mereka gak malu setengah mati ?! Tapi, di sisi lain, selain dapat malu karena kenal sama pasangan muka tebal kayak mereka, aku juga belajar banyak hal dari kehidupan mereka.

Sejak pacaran, Ida emang udah dapet tanda silang besar dari keluarga Afi. Alasan yang mendasar cuma karena latar belakang budaya ( c'mmon, hari gini masih rasis ? jadul parah ! ). Tapi dasarnya si Afi emang bocah nekat, entah pakai kabur dari rumah apa ngancem ala sinetron " Kalau aku gak boleh nikah sama Ida, mending aku mati aja ! " atau pura - pura depresi, yang jelas, akhirnya mereka boleh juga menikah secara resmi. Jelas itu adalah hal yang gak diduga, karena Afi udah nyiapin penghulu sendiri buat nikah siri. Awal mereka jadi suami istri, gak kayak saudara Afi yang lain yang dikasih uang untuk pesangon pengantin baru, Afi tidak diberi sepeserpun. Dengan gaji yang seadanya, ditambah penghasilan istri, Afi berusaha mandiri. Kalau sodaranya yang lain punya rumah sendiri, dia baru bisa ngekos di sebuah kamar kecil. Kalau sodara yang lain udah punya mobil keluarga, dia hanya ada 1 motor lama untuk antar jemput istri. Tiap hari, kerena kehdupannya yang pas-pasan itu, dia selalu jadi bahan pembicaraan negatif di keluarga besarnya. Tapi dia mah cuek bebek, dia bilang, " Mereka bilang aku gak hidup cukup, tapi aku merasa udah cukup kok, Bisa nyicil utang tiap bulan, udah bikin aku ngerasa cukup. "

Sekarang si Afi udah punya anak lucu banget, sama aja kayak bapak ibunya, tuh anak bawaannya ketawa mulu. Mungkin dia emang bukan anak yang bisa tiap minggu dibeliin mainan baru atau diajakin jalan - jalan ke mall. Tapi dia anak yang sangat bisa menghargai hal - hal yang sederhana. Cukup ke mall tanpa membeli apa - apa juga sudah wisata namanya, apalagi kalau dibeliin entah cuma apa gitu, buat dia udah sebuah kemewahan. Padahal kan kadang anak kecil itu suka gak tahu kalau orang tuanya lagi kekurangan atau gak mampu, suka aneh - aneh minta dibeliin ini -itu yang diliat di TV, padahal harganya selangit.

Tulisan ini maksudnya bukan mengkritik agar tiap orang harus hidup sederhana sekali, sama sekali bukan. Kalau mau hidup mewah juga gak apa, asal semua itu gak sia - sia dan memang membuat kita merasa sudah cukup bahagia. Mau tiap akhir minggu bolak - balik Indonesia - Prancis buat belanja gak papa, asal kita sadar kita bahagia dengan itu. Jangan - jangan udah kayak gitu masih juga mikir:

" Ya ampun, kok orang lain bisa ya bolak balik Indonesia - Eropa 3 hari sekali ? Aku kok cuma bisa seminggu sekali ya ? Miskin amat suamiku, cuma bisa mbayarin belanja ke eropa seminggu sekali. "

Minta digaplak nih orang. Itu sih yang miskin bukan suaminya, tapi hatinya.

Happiness is a choice. You could continue to feel sadness in happiness, but you could also feel haapy in a grief. So what abou your life ? You are happy or not ? It's up to you ! :)

TRIPS = Tricks and Tips

2009-10-29T09:37:00.001-07:00

" She becames a jerk, because her friends teach her bout tricks and tips to be the sly ! "

Gossipers , 2008.

Everyone makes mistake, either intentionally or unintentionally. And they have reason for doing that silly things. Because that, "sorry" is needed. But sometimes there are some people who do not respect an apologize, lets call them as a COWARD. They acting as forgiving, but they were stabbed in the back. Indulgence in people mistakes, laughing people apologize, spreading slander, and blame the people who are outside the problem. the coward never ashamed to spread other people's mistakes, and make a lot of people come to hate people.

An experience which I got told about the cowards who hide away their grudge with someone (call her B) because her fault back then, and they assumed that B becomes so annoying because she friends with annoying people. The coward had spread an issue that B wass taught by her annoying friends how to be a crook, whereas the fact is NO. And B never know that as well as those cowards smiled in front of B's face. B thought an apology for her mistakes can always remove it all, but it did not. If I were B, I would be angry to them, who smartass. If I were B, I would say " It was my mistake, I were sorry and if you still cant forgive me, spill your hatred in my face, i do not need your hypocrisy ! "

Maybe that B had a mistake back then is true, as true as her apologize.But what the Cowards did behind her is not better than she did. If you think B murderers, they aren't better than murderers, all of them criminals. Because they are the same as hurting someone else. If you ask where the painful part is :

1. Acting as forgiving B
2. Slandering B's friend
3. Make others come to hate B and B's friends
4. Talking about people mistake to many people

The wrong part is not because they did not forgive, but they let B thaught that they was her friends too, when in fact was her enemies.

Don't ever hostile to people when you are not sure you are better.

big thx to : the cowards ( enjoy your sin ! )

Having A New World

2009-10-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

" bagaikan kutub utara dan kutub selatan "

Arian, 9 oktober 2009

Bisakah kamu membayangkan jika dua orang yang berada di belahan kehidupan yang berbeda mencoba untuk berpacaran ?
Yang satu ogah panas, yang satu hobi banget panas - panasan. Yang satu sok kaya yang satu sok kere. Yang satu keras, yang satu melankolis total. Yang satu licik, yang satu gak tegaan. Yang satu suka suudzon, yang satu over khusnudzon. Benar - benar saling menyakiti. Inilah contoh percakapan mereka :

n : Cari kontrakan yuk, yang gede, yang luas. Kan enak, jadi gak sumpek !
g : Kos - kosan ajalah, yang murah.
n : Heh ? ngekos ?!

Kalau si cowok berniat romantis, kejadiannya bakal seperti ini,

g : Kamu cantik banget, nyud !
n : Thanks. kamu jelek, jelek banget. ( dalam konteks jujur, tidak sambil pasang gaya sok imut )
g : Iya deh, aku emang jelek. ( sambil memenyilakan rambut krebonya )
n : Udah to, rambutmu jangan digituin, udah jelek tambah jelek.
g : Iya, deh.

Kalau lagi di jalan, bukan cowoknya yang di depan, melainkan ceweknya, dan seperti biasa, si cewek akan mengemudikan motor dengan cepat, kejadian selanjutnya si cowok akan berteriak ketakutan sambil mencengkram pundak si cewek. Kurang lebih kondisinya akan seperti ini,

g : Iiih, kamu kok ngebut sih ? ojo ngono to, aku tu jirih e, takut aku.
n : Apa e kamu tu ? biasa wae to ! Gitu aja takut ! Cemen, ah !
g : Eh, awas - awas ! Ati - ati wae waton kelakon.
n : Apa, sih ? Santai aja to !

Tapi dibalik itu semua, mereka bisa saling menjaga, saling mengerti. Seperti keputusan si cewek yang pada akhirnya mau juga ngikutin si cowok untuk sewa kos - kosan. Ataupun kerelaan si cowok untuk membaur dengan dunia si cewek yang tadinya malas untuk dia masuki. Contohnya saat si cewek ngajakin si cowok ke kafe, secara si cowok biasanya nongkrong di angkringan, dan beginilah conversation mereka,

n : Ayo ke kafe, sekali - kalilah !
g : Aku gak punya uang, say.
n : Aku yang bayar.
g : Gak papa ?
n : Gak papalah, yok !

Sebaliknya, si cewek juga berusaha membaur ketika diajak si cowok kumpul dengan teman - temannya. Padahal perlu diketahui, mereka berdua di masa sekolah mempunyai friendships group sendiri - sendiri, yang hubungannya bisa dibilang berkorelasi negatif. Butuh keberanian atau kecuekan yang ekstra dari keduanya, untuk menanggapi polemyc ( ceileh, bahasanya :p ) yang timbul akibat hubungan mereka.

Begitulah kira - kira gambaran kehidupan mereka. No confusing as the other people think, just go as well. Meskipun orang - orang di sekeliling meributkan mereka, yang dibilang gak cocoklah, gak sederajatlah, gak kloplah, nyatanya sampai sekarang mereka asik - asik aja. Tidak ada yang menuntut satu sama lain untuk berubah sesuai kepribadian yang lainnya. Tidak ada satupun dari mereka yang berteriak ke yang lainnya " Kok kamu gitu sih ? kamu gak sayang ya sama aku ? " hanya karena sering berbeda pendapat dan saling menyiksa. Yang namanya beda ya udah beda aja, mungkin emang perbedaan itu gak bisa disatuin, tapi bukan untuk dipermasalahin juga.

We grew up with different backgrounds and characters, and we do not need to throw it all just for a relationship. We don't have to be the same for love and affection, only to be your self :)

thx to : nyud & alagires

conlifusing

2001-04-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

who says life is that easy ?
if it is so, what's the distinction between world and heaven ?

who says life is that hard ?
if it is so, what's the competitive advantage of hell ?

life is neither so easy, nor so hard.
it is just so so.
so so confusing.

( sorry, i cant stop my hand to write such a rubbish :p )